When asked what the capital of California was; answered “C”.
Couldn’t call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
Couldn’t learn to water ski because she couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said “2 to 4 years”
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
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A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.”
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.” The head stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, “I told her the front half of the airplane wasn’t going to Jamaica.”
This joke was submitted by Paris.
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10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous?
9) Is lighter fluid flammable?
8 ) What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff?
7) Are knives sharp?
6) Can sharks hurt a human?
5) What happens if I stick my hand in a piranha aquarium?
4) Can I break my arm hitting it against a wall?
3) Can I eat broken glass and live?
2) Can dogs talk?
1) Are blondes really dumb?
This joke was submitted by Philbert.
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A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, “BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO…..”
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts “Be silent!”
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, “OEING! OEING! OEING! OE….”
This joke was submitted by Philippa.
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A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.
After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. “I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.”
After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn’t radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said, “I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!”
This joke was submitted by Romeo.
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I knew a blonde that was so stuid that…….
*she called me to get my phone number.
*she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”
This joke was submitted by svcv.
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At a stadium, a comedian was sent in. He would tell the audience 99 funny jokes. If you got to the end without laughing at any of the jokes, you would win a billion pounds. So, only a blonde was left at the last joke. Suddenly, she started laughing before the joke began. As she came out, everyone asked her why she started laughing. She said, “I’m sorry, but that first joke was just too funny!”
This joke was submitted by Joke Cracker.
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