Funny Blonde Jokes - Page 5

Dumb Blonde

There was a blond, red-head, and brunette. So god says if u dont laugh at my 100 jokes u will go 2 heaven if u will laugh you will stay here on earth forever. So God tells the red-head 50 jokes and she laughs. then god tells the brunette 75 jokes and she laughs. then god tells 99 jokes to the blonde then she laughs. god asks “why did you laugh you only had one more joke to go?” the blonde says “i just got the first joke”.

This joke was submitted by Nataliya Yatsenko.


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Blonde Jokes

how do you drown a blonde?

stick a mirror at the bottom of the pool

how do you stop a blonde from drowning?

take your foot of her head

a blonde walks into a bar……”ouch”

two blones walk into a bar….you would expect one of them to see it

This joke was submitted by sophie.


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The Portal

Once there was a portal that if u say wat is true u will get wat u want. if u ly then u will be sucked in there forever. there were 3 girls: a redhead, a brunette, & a blonde. the redhead went up to the portal & said ‘i think that im the smartest girl in the world’ & she walked away with the stuff she wished for. the brunette went up to the portal & said ‘i think im the prettiest girl in the world’ & she walked away with the stuff she wished for. the blonde girl went up to the portal & said ‘ i think..’ & she got sucked into the portal.

This joke was submitted by olivia.


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Blonde Minds

A blonde sat in the bathroom for 30min. and the people outside started to get angry. The were pounding on the door. She slowly opened the door, only to hear gasps come from the small crowed. Finaly a man asked her why he forehead was covered in lipstick. She answered ” I was trying to MAKE UP my mind.”

This joke was submitted by emily.


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Blonde Joke

How do you drown a blonde?

You stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool!

This joke was submitted by Maddie.


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The TV and the Blonde

A blonde walks into a store and stops to look at some stuff. She decides that she wants the tv and tells an employee she wants to buy it. But the employee told her that blondes were not allowed at the store.

So, the blonde dyes her hair red and comes back to the store. She tells the employee that she wants to buy the tv, but he tells her that blondes are not allowed in the store.

So, she dyes her hair brown and goes into the store. She tells the employee that she wants to buy the tv and the employee tells her no blondes allowed.

So she is really frustrated now and says how do you know I’m blonde??? The employee says that its not a tv, its a microwave.

This joke was submitted by Maddie.


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A barman, two ponies and a blonde

A blonde enters a bar and asks the barman,
“Oh! Sir! Please! Can you help me? I have just bought two ponies but I can’t tell them apart! What should I do?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their tails,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”

So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me again? Cutting the tails really worked but they’ve grown back! What am I to do now?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their manes,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”

So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me one more time? Cutting the manes really worked but now they’ve grown back. What can I dow now?” She cried in despair and frustration.
“Okay then,” said the barman, who was beginning to get annoyed with the blonde. “Why don’t you measure them?”

So the blonde left and came back the next day.
“Oh thank you so much! Now I can tell my two ponies apart always! The white one is taller than the black one!”

This joke was submitted by Emily.


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