Funny Food Jokes

Jumbo Jet Sandwich

A man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant, and saw that the sandwiches were named for planes.

“I’ll have a ‘jumbo jet,'” he said.

When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how small his burger was, but he ate it anyway.

He called his waiter over. “Was that the ‘jumbo jet?'” he asked.

“Yeah,” the waiter answered. “Went pretty fast, didn’t it?”

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So Dark

Mom: Johnny, there were two chocolate cakes yesterday, and now there’s only one. Why?

Johnny: I don’t know. It must have been so dark I didn’t see the other one.

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Ten Years Ago

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your Oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.” “Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!”

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Choice For Lunch

Derek: I thought there was a choice for lunch today.

Josie: There is.

Derek: No, there isn’t. There’s only cheese pie.

Josie: You can choose to eat it or leave it.

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Which End?

At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: ‘Is this pig?’ Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: ‘Which end of the fork are you referring to?’

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Cherry on the Top

A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts. ‘Would you like a cherry on the top ?’ asked the waitress. ‘No, thanks,’ said the girl, ‘I’m on a diet !’

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Girl or Salad

First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin had the glow of a peach, her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries – that’s my girl.

Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me.

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