a man wanted a job so another man comes in and asks the man please can you give me a sentence that has 3 different colors in it so the man says ” i was cooking in the kitchen and the phone went green green green green so i pinked it up and said yellow “
This joke was submitted by 3 different colors.
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Men’s Normal heart beat rate is between 60 and 100 beats per minute, but it depends who is near :
> 18 = 80 to 100 heart beats / min
> 25 = 60 to 80 heart beats / min
> 30 = 40 to 60 heart beats / min
> 40 = 20 to 40 heart beats / min
> 50 = 1 to 3 heart attack in a min.
This joke was submitted by Navd Ahmd.
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There was two muffins in an oven. one says, “Wow it’s hot in here!” then the other one turned and looked at him and said, Oh my gosh! a talking muffin!”
This joke was submitted by laner.
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A blonde enters a bar and asks the barman,
“Oh! Sir! Please! Can you help me? I have just bought two ponies but I can’t tell them apart! What should I do?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their tails,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”
So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me again? Cutting the tails really worked but they’ve grown back! What am I to do now?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their manes,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”
So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me one more time? Cutting the manes really worked but now they’ve grown back. What can I dow now?” She cried in despair and frustration.
“Okay then,” said the barman, who was beginning to get annoyed with the blonde. “Why don’t you measure them?”
So the blonde left and came back the next day.
“Oh thank you so much! Now I can tell my two ponies apart always! The white one is taller than the black one!”
This joke was submitted by Emily.
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A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. “Wonderful,” says the mother, “What part is it?” The boy says “I play the part of the Scottish husband!” The mother scowls and says: “Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part.”
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After living in the remote wilderness of West Virginia all his life, An old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, ‘How about that! Here’s a picture of my daddy.’ He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn’t like his father, so he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it. His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, ‘So that’s the ugly lady he’s runnin’ around with.’
This joke was submitted by one tooth.
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In the high way, there is a big pit, and many accidents happens in this pit every day three workers discussed to solve the problem. The first suggest to send ambulance car beside the pit to be standby for any accident that send him quickly to hospital!!!!
The second said, no, he may die in the way to hospital, so is better to build hospital beside the pit !!!!
The third, the most clever said is too expensive to build hospital beside the pit, so we have to fill this pit in the highway and dig one beside the hospital in the city
This joke was submitted by Haidar.
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