An idiot decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.
A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.
“But I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said the idiot, “I think I’m planting them too deep.”
This joke was submitted by Erin.
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At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which sort of taxation they found fairest. There was a pause, and then a white-haired man in the back raised his hand. “The poll tax,” he said.
“But the poll tax was repealed,” replied the commissioner.
“Ay-ah,” declared the man, “that’s what I like about it.”
This joke was submitted by Renita.
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After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.
There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, “I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight’s concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star.”
Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from throughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, “Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don’t I?”
This joke was submitted by Jirakee.
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A few things American movies taught their kids-
1 Chinese have nothing better to do than teach or practice kung fu.
2. More than 50% of the US Population are FBI/CIA agents may be working undercover and behind all attacks on US, the actual conspirator will be a Russian.
3. If a man has survived a mishap with a lady. then he is entitled to a kiss, no matter whether he met the lady only that very day.
4. The purpose of school system in USA is to promote basketball
5. Aliens have a special interest in attacking US!!
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A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what’s going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, “Pardon me. May I help you with something.”
The blind man says, “No thanks. I’m just looking around.”
This joke was submitted by Braden.
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At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
“The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!”
An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if that’s all you want, get a TV!”
This joke was submitted by Kylie.
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Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: “When I’m dead I want you to marry farmer Jones.”
Wife: “No, I can’t marry anyone after you.”
Johnson: “But I want you to.”
Wife: “But why?”
Johnson: “Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!”
This joke was submitted by Koleyn.
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