Last Blonde Joke


How many blonde jokes are there?

None, they’re all true!

This joke was submitted by Daniel James.


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Opposite Day


One day a girl named Tori was a quiet ugly girl.she had never had any friends and didn’t have a boyfriend.
well on day she meet one of the popular girls at school. all the guys thought that the popular girl was GORGES!! well one day the popular girl meet tori..and the popular girl was always making people that wasn’t popular feel bad about them selves.so the popular girl and her friends got together and told tori that she was pretty and that she didn’t understand why any of the guys didn’t like her ,and that she was super skinny.so tori took it all in saying,”i am gorges.” with everyone laughing at her the popular girl and her friends laughed and said sweet heart IT’S OPPOSITE DAY!!!!!!!!

This joke was submitted by popular girl!!.


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Beggar Without Any Habbits

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, “I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you.” “I would have bought a cup of tea”, replied the beggar.

The man said, “Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea”. He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, “I don’t smoke as it is injurious to health.”

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, “Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good”.

The beggar refused by saying, “Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver”.

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, “I am going to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone”.

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, “Sorry sir, I can’t come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit.”

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar’s face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, “Why do you want me to go to your house with you”.

The man replied, “My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like


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Reasons Why Not To Have A GirlFriend

1. You can stare at any Girl…….

2. You don’t have to spend money on her.

3. You won’t get boring result in ur board papers.

4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.

5. If u don’t have a girlfriend, she can’t dump u.

6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.

7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.

8. You won’t have to tolerate someone else defining, “right” and “wrong” for u.

9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can’t do anything according ur wishes anymore.

10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.

11. You won’t have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop place.

12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them.

13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.

14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u’ll sin less.

15. You can have good night’s sleep-no need to dream about her.

16. You wont have to fight over having a ’special’ friend with ur folks.

17. No nonstop nonsense.

18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.

19. No tension.

20. You can be “urself”

21. You wont have to hide your telephone bills…..


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Blonde Grenade

Q) What do you do when a Blonde throws a grenade at you?

A) Pull out the pin and throw it back!

This joke was submitted by Jimmy.


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High Santa

Q) what did santa say when he was High?

A) Merry christmas to all now your all Gonna get High!

This joke was submitted by Jimmy.


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Beware of Santa

Q: Why shouldn’t you sneak up on Santa?
A: Because he takes karate and has a black belt.

This joke was submitted by Bruni.


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