Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.

Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.

Fast learner: You will get no training from us.

Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.

Good organizational skills: You’ll be handling the filing.

Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.

Management training position: You’ll be a salesperson with a wide territory.

Much client contact: You handle the phone or make “cold calls” on clients.

Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.

Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.

Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.

Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.

Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.

This joke was submitted by taniya.

An manager walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, “I want coffee”.

The waiter says, “Sure Sir, coming right up”.

He gets the manager a tall mug of coffee, and the manager drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.

The next morning the manager returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, “I want coffee”.

The waiter says, “Whoa, we’re still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway”?

The manager smiles and proudly says, “I am training for upper management position. Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave a mess for others to clean up, and disappear for rest of day.

This joke was submitted by Yasino.

1. If it rings, put it on hold.
2. If it clunks, call the repairman.
3. If it whistles, ignore it.
4. If it’s a friend, stop work and chat.
5. If it’s the boss, look busy.
6. If it talks, take notes.
7. If it’s handwritten, type it.
8. if it’s typed, copy it.
9. If it’s copied, file it.
10. If it’s Friday, forget it!

This joke was submitted by Yan.

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

“My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”

“It was terrible,” her husband said, “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.”

This joke was submitted by Roger.