We Can’t Work


A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.

One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old.

“Hold it, hold it,” the fellow said to the men. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with this digging?”

“Well, we work for the county government,” one of the men said.

“But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You’re not accomplishing anything. Aren’t you wasting the county’s money?”

“You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. “Normally there’s three of us, me, Joe and Mike. I dig the hole, Joe sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back.”

“Yea,” piped up Mike. “Now just because Joe is sick, that doesn’t mean we can’t work, does it?”


Email This Post Email This Post

Grandmother’s Funeral


“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.

“Yes, Sir.” the employee replied.

“Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”


Email This Post Email This Post

Office Riddle

If a train station is where the train stops and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?


Email This Post Email This Post

Occasional Mistake

A worker who was being paid by the week approached his employer and held up his last paycheck. “This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,” he said.

“I know,” the employer said. “But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.”

“Well, I don’t mind an occasional mistake,” the worker answered, “but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.”


Email This Post Email This Post

Five Office One Liners

A big company offered $50 for each money-saving idea submitted by its employees. First prize went to the employee who suggested the award be cut to $25.

The Pope has the best job in the world: he has one boss only, and even him he meets after his death.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing.
The reward for a job well done is more work.

Email This Post Email This Post

Employee’s Ten Comandments

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you can’t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.


Email This Post Email This Post

When I

When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don’t do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn’t do it, he is too busy.

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.
When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.

When I make a mistake, I am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.

When I am out of the office, I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he’s on business.


Email This Post Email This Post
Page 2 of 3«123»