Here are the redefined definitions after the world economy slumped due to global recession. 
1. CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer.
2. CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer.
3. BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
4. STOCK ANALYST – Stupid who just downgraded your stock.
5. PROFIT — A historic word no longer in use.
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1. People who ride on roller coasters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain.
2. Black bears are not always black they can be brown, cinnamon, yellow and sometimes white.
3. People with blue eyes see better in dark.
4. Each year 30,000 people are seriously injured by exercise equipment.
5.The placement of a donkey’s eyes in its head enables it to see all four feet.
6. The sun is 330330 times larger than the earth.
7. The cow gives nearly 200000 glass of milk in her lifetime.
8. There are more female than male millionaires in the U.S.A.
9. Nearly 22,000 cheque’s will be deducted from the wrong account over the next hour.
10. When a person dies, hearing is usually the first sense to go.
11. Bill gates house was designed using Macintosh computer.
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Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
School:A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance:A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
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1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go?
2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
3.If the ‘black box’ flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
4.Why do people say, ‘you’ve been working like a dog’ when dogs just sit around all day?
5.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
6.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
7.What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
8.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
9.Why is it called a ‘building’ when it is already built?
10.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one?
11.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
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Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
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If a train station is where the train stops and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
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A big company offered $50 for each money-saving idea submitted by its employees. First prize went to the employee who suggested the award be cut to $25.
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