Funny Poem – Row Your Boat


Row row row your boat,
Gently down the stream,
Until you hit the water fall
And then you start to scream.


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Funny Poem – The Moderate


I am a moderate.
I wouldn’t want to live forever,
But I wouldn’t mind seeing my third century.

I’m a moderate.
I don’t think slime molds and viruses should get the vote,
But I wouldn’t deny it to dogs and porpoises.

I’m a moderate.
I don’t think the government should be overthrown on mere whim,
Unless it goes so far as to lie to us.

I’m a moderate.
I think all sorts of crackpot ideas should be allowed free expression,
Though I draw the line at organized religion.

I’m a moderate.
I don’t insist that you worship no other gods,
As long as I get my own sacrifices regularly.


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Funny Poem – Once I’m in my bubble bath

Once I’m in my bubble bath
I like to stir up more.
Half the suds go in my eyes
And half go on the floor.

The fun is in the bubbles ’cause
They giggle on my skin,
And when I stick them on my face
They dangle from my chin.

And when I splash them hard enough
They pop and disappear,
And then my bath time’s over ’cause
I’ve made the water clear.


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Funny Poem – Waiting for a train.

Why do the birds chirp so loudly
why does the wind blow so proudly
everything right now, seems a violation
as i sit here, soggy eyed, at a railway station

God please tell me, what is my crime??
why is it that my train is never on time??
wat has inspired this amorous rhyme?
take a guess and youll win a dime

every morning in the daylight, at 7 am sharp
goes off my alarm, like a reality warp
and i wake up to realise, a dreary time ahead
another day at the station, wishing i was in bed

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Funny Old Age Poem

If you remember when TV
Used to be black and white
You find you’re getting broader
But your shrinking in your height

If before you go to bed
Your teeth go in a jar
And you forget what your doing
Before you’ve gone too far

If your bladder gets you up
In the middle of the night
You get up in the morning
And you look an awful sight

If you’re not breaking hearts
You’re breaking wind instead
When you’d sooner stay at home
And watch TV in bed

Then my friend I say to you
You’ve finally reached the stage
That is what is called
The golden years of age


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Funny Poem – The paper versus the pencil

Said the pencil to the paper
You have excess self-esteem
You’ve ideas above your station
You think ‘white’ equates to ‘clean.’

You can talk, you leaden pencil
I’ll remind you without doubt
When you say what I dislike, then
My eraser rubs it out.

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Emily Dickinson – Funny – To Be A Century

Funny -to be a Century
And see the People going by
I should die of the Oddity
But then I’m not so staid as He
He keeps His Secrets safely very
Were He to tell extremely sorry
This Bashful Globe of Ours would be
So dainty of Publicity


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