An old man walks into the tax collector’s office and sat down and smiled at everyone.
“May I help you?” said the clerk in charge.
“No,” said the old man. “I just wanted to meet the people I have been working for all these years.”
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A man who was buying a sports shirt found the largest size was even not fitting.
“Where do I go from here?” he asked the clerk
“To the gym,” she replied.
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At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, “Will you dance with me, please.?”
The arrogant girl says, ” I don’t dance with a kid.”
The taken back boy apologized, “I am sorry, I did not realize your were pregnant.”
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Little Johnny’s teacher asks, “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”
Little Johnny replies, “A teacher.”
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The School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say your prayers before eating?”
“No sir,” little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to. My Mom is a good cook.”
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Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.
His mother asks, “What did you learn in school today?”
Little Johnny replies, “Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
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A husband was giving a speech on wife’s 30th birthday, he said
Forget about the past, you can’t change it.
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
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