The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he’d like a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for his wife’s 60th birthday.
“A little surprise, eh?” smiled the clerk.
“You bet,” answered the customer. “She’s expecting a cruise.”
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It’s my wife’s 30th birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
“Oh, I don’t know, she said . Just give me something with diamonds.”
That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
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Little Johnny walked into the house covered in filth. His mom asked, “Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?”
Johnny replied, ” I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.”
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Husband: Why didn’t you give me anything for my birthday?
Wife: You told me to surprise you.
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Pilot to tower . . . pilot to tower . . . I am 300 miles from land .
600 feet over water . . . and running out of fuel.
please instruct! Tower to pilot . . . tower to pilot.
repeat after me: “Our Father, which art in heaven . . .”
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A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk!
He runs around and yells, “Hey, bud, this is my car!” “OK,” the man says, “You take the front and I`ll take the back.”
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A redneck, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel’s clerk about the time of meals.
“Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8,” explained the clerk.
“Look here,” inquired the farmer in redneck, “when am I going to get time to see the city?”
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