A huge American car screeched to a halt in a sleepy English village, and the driver called out to a local inhabitant, “Say, am I on the right road for Shakespeare’s birthplace?” “Ay, straight on, sir,” said the rustic, “but no need to hurry. He’s dead.”
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A police officer once say a hiker walking along the road carrying a sign which read “To Seattle.”
He asked “What are you doing with that?”
“I’m walking to Seattle,” said the hiker, “and I don’t want to lose my way.”
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In the week before Thanksgiving Little Johnny was asked to write a paragraph entitled: ‘What I am most thankful for on Thanksgiving Day’.
Little Johnny wrote: ‘I am thankful that I’m not a turkey at Thanksgiving.’
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“Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage counter?” asked the airline passenger.
The clerk replied, “It`s so you can kiss your luggage good-bye.
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Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
Little Johnny – Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.
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The teacher wrote on the blackboard: “I ain’t had no fun in months.”
Then asked the class, “How should I correct this sentence?”
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, “Get yourself a new boyfriend.”
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Teacher to Little Johnny – When is your birthday?
Little Johnny – 17th July.
Teacher – What year?
Little Johnny – Every year!
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