Scientific Discoveries


German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber net.

Irish scientists were outraged. They dug 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.


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Pragmatic Solutions


A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on “Knowing my own Hidden Secrets” and “Lies and Deceit,” a man wrote the following letter to the IRS:

“I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my Income Taxes. I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a check for $150.00. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest.”


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Military Etiquette

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?

Soldier: Sure, buddy.

Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again.

Soldier: Do you have change for a dollar?

Soldier: No, SIR!


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May I Have Your Opinion

These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.

A reporter comes running up and says, “Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”

The Saudi says, “What’s a shortage?”

The Russian says, “What’s meat?”

The North Korean says, “What’s an opinion?”

The New Yorker, says, “Excuse me?? What’s excuse me?”


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Make Her Happy

In the world of romance, one single rule applies Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects — Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.


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Study You Stud

Brian, a “cool” teenage boy continually challenges his conservative father by, wanting to have his ears pierced or his hair dyed. “Dad,” he asked, “Would it be okay if I had S-T-U-D shaved in the back of my head?”

“Sure,” came his Father’s quick reply. “But only if you add a Y to it.”


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With Flashlights

Boy Scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, “We might as well give up. They are coming after us with flashlights.”


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