Your Mama So Fat


When she step on the Weight Scales it says…’to be continued’…

She once went on a seafood diet…whenever she saw food she ate it!

Folk exercise by jogging around her!

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

She was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm…

small objects orbit her.

She could be the eighth continent.

Her university graduation photo was an aerial

She shows up on radar.

Her Passport photo says ‘Picture is continued overleaf’

She was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

She once told me ‘I could eat a horse’…believe me, she wasn’t kidding!

yo mamas so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on da scales! (submitted by Lana)


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Yo Mama So Stupid


I told her drinks were on the house…so she went and got a ladder…

She make Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner

She noticed a sign reading ‘Wet Floor’…so she just did!

It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

She asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken.

She got locked in the Quickie Mart and nearly starved to death.

She sold her Car for Petrol cash!

She reckoned a Quarterback was a refund…

She once attempted to commit suicide by jumping off a Kerb.

She took a job cutting grass on an Oil Rig.

I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

It took her 2 days to make Microwaveable Pot Noodles.

She invented a silent car alarm.

She watches The Three Stooges and takes notes.

She was born on Halloween and can’t remember her birthday.

She thought Morning Dew was a New York radio station.

She lost her shadow.

She thought Hot Meals were stolen food.She make Laurel and Hardy look like Nobel Prize winners.

When I asked her to purchase me a Colour TV she asked me…’Which colour?’


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