Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip.
They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, “Watson, look up. What do you see?
“Well, I see thousands of stars.”
“And what does that mean to you?” Read the rest of this entry »
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If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
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A shy collegian was deeply in love with a pretty girl, but he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to give it a go, and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a her a letter of proposal.
HE WROTE :
Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much meditation. I have a strong inclination to become your relation. As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication that I have passed my matriculation examination – no doubt, without any hesitation, and very little preparation. What do you say to thesolemnisation of our marriage celebration according to the glorification of modern civilisation and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation.
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* I hit the CTRL key but I’m still not in control!
* Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
* Disk Full – Press F1 to belch.
* Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (V)omit
* (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
* If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
* Programmer – A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
* Real programmers don’t document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.”
* Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
* Relax, it’s only ONES and ZEROS!
* Will configure ones and zeros for food!
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* Computer (dfn): A device designed to speed and automate errors.
* Press to continue …Smash forehead on keyboard to continue… Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue… Just do something!!
* E-mail returned to sender — insufficient voltage.
* Help! I’ve modemed and I can’t hang up!!
* All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
* Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
* “640K ought to be enough for anybody.” – Bill Gates, 1981
* DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
* Press any key… no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
* Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…
* Excuse me for butting in, but I’m interrupt-driven.
* Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~”
* Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
* Read my chips: No new upgrades!
* Hit any user to continue.
* 2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
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* Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or file name!”
* As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
* Backups? We don’t need no stinking backups.
* E Pluribus Modem
* C:\ File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
* A mainframe: the biggest PC peripheral available.
* An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
* CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
* A computer’s attention span is as long as its power cord.
* 11th commandment – Covet not thy neighbor’s Pentium.
* Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
* Windows: Just another pain in the glass.
* SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
* RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
* All computers wait at the same speed.
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* Buy a Pentium 686/300, so you can reboot faster.
* 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2 (especially with the old Pentium chip).
* Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
* My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.
* C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
* C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
* Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put in new ones.
* The name is Baud… James Baud.
* Access denied–nah nah na nah nah!
* C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
* Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! STAAAY…
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