Ready For Revenge
All set to take revenge from the cruel humans!!!
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Funny Old Phrases
One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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Life’s Tough Questions
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
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God Will Take Care Of Me
There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.
Jim said, “No, that’s okay. God will take care of me.”
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Who Else …Mr President
Who the hell on this world can ask this kind of question except the one and only MR PRESIDENT!!!
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Funny Elephant Jokes
Q: Wha’t big and grey and can fly straight up?
A: An elecopter.
Q: What do elephants do for entertainment?
A: Watch elevision.
Q: How do elephants communicate?
A: They talk on the elephone.
Q: How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: Look for his footprints in the cheesecake.
Q: How do you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: Look for two sets of footprints side by side.
Q: How do you tell if there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
A: The door won’t close.
Q: How many giraffes will fit in the refrigerator?
A: None: there are already too many elephants in there.
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