Warning!!!
Smoking is injurious to health..Funny way to convey this message all around the world
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Ten Ways To Annoy Telemarketers
10. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died…”
9. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
8. Cry out in surprise, “Judy! Is that you? Oh my Gosh! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends … Would you be my friend?”
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on “home incarceration” and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips
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Doctor Jokes
DOCTOR! DOCTOR!
Doctor, doctor, I’ve only got 59 seconds to live.
Ok, just a minute.
Doctor, doctor, I’ve swallowed the film from my camera.
We’ll just have to see what develops.
Doctor, doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do ?
Limp.
Doctor, doctor, I have a split personality.
Nurse, bring in another chair.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a clock.
Ok, relax, There’s nothing to get yourself all wound up about.
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Extreme Sports
The mouse knows the benefit of wearing helmet..wear helmet save life!!
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Women Driver
That can be nobody else than a women!!!Men can’t even dream of parking in there!!!
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FORWARDER’S” 12 STEP PROGRAM
THE “FORWARDER’S” 12 STEP PROGRAM – EVERYONE SAY IT
WITH ME …
1) I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON’T forward an email!
2) I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.
3) Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn’t know anything about a gift
certificate they’re supposed to send me.
4) Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!
5) I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.
6) I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail …NEVER–NEVER !!
7) There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!
There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN’T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.
9) The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.
10) There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I
will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO,NADA !!
11) The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.
12) And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don’t believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on!
Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your
friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and
all of your hair will fall out!
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