Funny Junk

This is exactly how i play football:)

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian bragged, “We were the first in space!” The American retorted, “We were the first on the moon!” The Blonde said, “So what, we’re going to be the first on the sun!” The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you fool. You’ll burn up!” said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo” she shouts, “how can I get to the other side?”
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Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said “You’re #1!”

Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day, too.

St. Patrick’s Day, however, would remain exactly the same.

But it would be celebrated every month.

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