Funny Junk

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.”

Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said,

“That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?”

The clerk smiled and said,

“Rain…”

The cruise director of a cruise ship was demonstrating to a group of young passengers how the ship manages to stay level at sea.

“Do you know what level means?” he asked the group of six to eight year-olds.

Little Johnny replied immediately. “A level is something you need to pass to get to a harder screen in a video game.”

When I went to get my driver’s license renewed, our local Motor Vehicle Bureau was packed.

The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license.

He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.”

The clerk looked at his picture closely, and reassured him, “It’s okay. That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway.”

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, want to play house?”

He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”

The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your feelings.”

“Communicate my feelings?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means.”

The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband then.”