Too Sweet For Words


A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind.

‘That’s a serious step,’ he said. ‘Have you thought it out completely?’

‘Yes,’ his young son answered. ‘We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.’ ‘How about transportation? ‘ the father asked.

‘I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,’ the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, ‘What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.’

‘We’ve thought about that, too,’ the little boy replied. ‘We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!’

This joke was submitted by dhruv

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Blonde On The Plane Alert


There was plane with 600 passengers aboard and the pilot reported that one of the engines have failed, but he says it’s alright, we still have 3 more. It’ll take an hour more than we expected. Half an hour later, the pilot reports that another engine has failed. He says, “But we’ve still got 2 left, it will just take an hour longer than we expected.” The pilot reports half an hour later that the other engine has failed, “But that’s alright,” he says, “We’ve still got 1 more.” Blond says to the guy sitting next to her, “If that last engine fails, we’ll be up here forever.”

This joke was submitted by Brianna.

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Women

A 12-year-old girl was riding in her car with her mom, dad, and 7-year old brother. Her mom was talking about plural words, like cacti, octipi, etc etc. She asked her son what the plural of “Succubus” was. He asked, “What is that?”.

The girl said: A succubus is an evil demon who lives off the life force of men.”

An understanding look dawned on his face, and he triumphantly declared, “Women!”

This joke was submitted by Kittehcat.

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Yo Mama Jokes Collection

yo mama’s so fat, when she turned her head the ricter-scale said type 11 earthquake.

yo mama’s so fat, that when she went to the doctors office to get weighed they said one person at a time please!

yo mama’s so fat, they had to make special cars just for her…… they’re the size of six trains.

yo mama’s so ugly, it makes Britney Spears look HOT!

yo mama’s so old, it makes dinasaurs look young.

This joke was submitted by Marek kline.

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Obama

They said a black man would be president when pigs fly, well its Obama’s first 100 days in office and boom….Swine flu

This joke was submitted by Terrence Bell.

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Newton – Laws of Love

Universal law:
“Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money ”

First law:
” a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. ”

Second law:
” the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. ”

Third law:
” the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping. “

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Yo Momma Collection

Yo mommas so poor thieves rob her for practice.

Yo mommas so ugly her reflection turned to stone.

Yo mommas so stupid she was trapped on a desert island and a genie told her she would give her one thing and she asked for a car So she could roll down the window.

Yo momma and two friends of hers were escaping the cops. One hid in a dog house and said “woof!” another hid in a trash can and said “Squeak!” Then, yo momma hid in another trash can and said: ” trash, trash!”

Yo Mommas so stupid she mince pie was a jellybean flavor.

To mommas so ugly al-quada uses her as a torture device.

Yo mommas so stupid when she passed by the YMCA she said: ” Hey, look! They spelled macys wrong!”

This joke was submitted by Lucas L..

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