Clean Jokes

First Time In Bar

A Lady visited A Bar for the First Time, She Sat on the Table in Front of the Bar Tender..

A Guy at Her Left ordered: “Jack Daniels, Single”

A Guy at Her Right ordered: “Johnny Walker, Single”

The Bar Tender Looked at the Lady & said: And You..??

Lady replied: “Monika Deshpande, Married..!!”


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Still Celebrating

Husband takes the wife to a disco.
There’s a guy on the dance floor living it large – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: “See that guy?
25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
Husband says: “Looks like he’s still celebrating!!!


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Doctor and Woman

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . .
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Doctor: “What happened?”
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Woman:” Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp….”
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Doctor:”I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it…. Just gargle and gargle”.
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2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.
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. Woman:” Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me.
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Doctor: “You see how keeping your mouth shut helps.!


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Height of Attitude

A cockroach’s last words to a man who is about to kill him:
“Go ahead and kill me, You coward!
You are jealous of me because your wife is afraid of me and NOT AFRAID OF YOU !


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Clever Little Johnny

Little Johnny goes to the manager at convenience store and asked, “Is this store open all day, seven days a week, 365 days a year?”

“Yes,” the manager answered, puzzled at the question.

“Well, then,” he continued as he walked out, “why are there locks on the doors?”


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What Are You Watching?

A Man Was Watching A Movie At Home And Suddenly Shouts “Nooooooooooooo!” Don’t!!!!!!
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. .
Get Off The Horse!
Its A Trap!!
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Wife: What Are You Watching?

Man: Our Wedding DVD….


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Girl In Electronic Shop

One girl went to a electronic shop in anger and threw her new laptop on the desk at a person from
whom she bought.

She told the salesman that you have… cheated me. I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop..
Salesman : Madam, can you please try infront of me.
This is what She did,

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which she wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where she wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

Salesman fainted….


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