Funny Junk

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.”

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, “Wait just a minute!” She had a box her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, “Girl, I know you weren’t fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.”The loyal wife replied, “Listen, I’m an honest loyal wife, I can’t go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”

“You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?”

“I sure did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check.. If he can cash it, he can spend it.”

There were a brunette, a black haired girl, a ranger and a blonde on a island. they were 200km away from safety. they all decided they will swim to safety.
The ranger swam 5km and drowned, the black haired swam 20km and drowned, the brunette swam 50km and drowned. but when the blonde had her turn she swam 100km and said…
“i m tired!”
so she swam all the way back to the island..

This post was submitted by yes i am a blonde!! but not a dumb one :).

Breaking News From Ford Company - Ford is now offering a new pair of shoes to the ford owner so they can use those on their way to town to get help.

This post was submitted by andrew lovsness.

There was a pilot, a preacher, and a teacher..there were flying up in the air and the piloy said
” we all need to drop one thing so we will keep flight.”
The teacher dropped an apple, the preacher drop a bible, and the pilot dropped a bomb…
later once the landed….the teacher walked up to a little boy who was crying, and asked..
” why are you crying?”
(little boy) ” this apple fell on my head”
the preacher went up to a little girl who was crying and asked..
” why are you crying?”
(little girl) “this bible fell on my head”
the pilot walks up to a little girl and asks..
“why are you laughing?”
(little girl) ” i was sitting here having a tea party when i farted… i heard a noise and turned around and my neighbors house blew up”

This post was submitted by Kami.