There was 1 Hawaiian 1 Philipino and 1 Portuguese.they were stranded in the desert. So the Hawaiian had water so he wouldn’t get thirsty.The Philipino had food so he doesn’t get hungry n the Portuguese had a car door.so the Hawaiian n philipino asked the Portuguese why did u bring the door. Portuguese said so if i get hot i can role the window down!
This joke was submitted by josh da hawaiian 808.
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So one day there were three dudes. For lunch, Brad, always got tuna and so he says,”If I get tuna 1 more time I’m going to jump off this building.” So then Larry gets his lunch and he gets tacos Again! And so he says,”If I get tacos 1 more time, I’m gonna electrocute myself severely.” Then, Cameron goes to get his lunch and he got salad again, so he says,” If I get salad one more time I’ll stab my self in the heart!” So then the next day they got the same food, so they had to have a funeral. So then everybody turns their head to look at Brad’s wife and she said,” If I knew about this I would not have given him tuna again.” Everybody turns their head to Larry’s girlfriend and she says,” If I would have known about this earlier, I would’ve given him something like spaghetti.” Then everybody turns their head at Cameron’s woman and she said,” Don’t look at me, he goes to McDonald’s every morning at 8:00 am and he buys his own lunch.”
This joke was submitted by Sophurs.
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a man wanted a job so another man comes in and asks the man please can you give me a sentence that has 3 different colors in it so the man says ” i was cooking in the kitchen and the phone went green green green green so i pinked it up and said yellow “
This joke was submitted by 3 different colors.
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Men’s Normal heart beat rate is between 60 and 100 beats per minute, but it depends who is near :
> 18 = 80 to 100 heart beats / min
> 25 = 60 to 80 heart beats / min
> 30 = 40 to 60 heart beats / min
> 40 = 20 to 40 heart beats / min
> 50 = 1 to 3 heart attack in a min.
This joke was submitted by Navd Ahmd.
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There was two muffins in an oven. one says, “Wow it’s hot in here!” then the other one turned and looked at him and said, Oh my gosh! a talking muffin!”
This joke was submitted by laner.
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A blonde enters a bar and asks the barman,
“Oh! Sir! Please! Can you help me? I have just bought two ponies but I can’t tell them apart! What should I do?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their tails,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”
So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me again? Cutting the tails really worked but they’ve grown back! What am I to do now?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their manes,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”
So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me one more time? Cutting the manes really worked but now they’ve grown back. What can I dow now?” She cried in despair and frustration.
“Okay then,” said the barman, who was beginning to get annoyed with the blonde. “Why don’t you measure them?”
So the blonde left and came back the next day.
“Oh thank you so much! Now I can tell my two ponies apart always! The white one is taller than the black one!”
This joke was submitted by Emily.
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A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. “Wonderful,” says the mother, “What part is it?” The boy says “I play the part of the Scottish husband!” The mother scowls and says: “Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part.”
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