What the new Job-Lingo really means!
“Join our Fast-Paced Company”:
We have no time to train you.
“Casual Work Atmosphere”:
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
“Must be Deadline Oriented”:
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
“Some Overtime Required”:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
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A big company offered $50 for each money-saving idea submitted by its employees.
First prize went to the employee who suggested the award be cut to $25.
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“Join our Fast-Paced Company”:
We have no time to train you.
“Casual Work Atmosphere”:
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
“Must be Deadline Oriented”:
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
“Some Overtime Required”:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
“Duties Will Vary”:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
“Must Have An Eye For Detail”:
We have no quality control.
“Career-Minded”:
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
“No Phone Calls Please”:
We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
“Seeking Candidates With a Wide Variety Of Experience”:
You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
“Problem-Solving Skills a Must”:
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
“Requires Team Leadership Skills”:
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
“Good Communication Skills”:
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
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Manager: Sorry, but i can’t give u a job. I don’t need much help.
Job Applicant: That’s all right. In fact I’m just the right person in
this case. You see, I won’t be of much help anyway!!
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