People say 'you're only as old as you feel,' but my knees are filing for independence. They feel 87, my back's claiming 95, and my knees just filed a restraining order. We're not aging gracefully—we're aging like a corporate restructuring where nobody told the employees.
Adults complain about not having time for hobbies, but we spend 45 minutes every night doing advanced mathematics: If I go to bed now, I'll get 7 hours of sleep, minus the 20 minutes I'll spend doom-scrolling, minus the hour I'll lie awake thinking about that awkward thing I said in 2003. That's… three hours of actual sleep? Perfect, I'll take it.
I've watched so many documentaries about historical criminals that I accidentally used a con artist's manipulation tactics on my dentist. He still charged me full price. Turns out I'm not a criminal mastermind—just a sucker who paid $300 to learn I'm bad at everything.
People say 'I need coffee to function.' I say that too. Then I realized I don't need it to function—I need it so everyone else can function around me. It's not a beverage, it's a public service.
Office meetings are like going to the dentist. You know it'll be painful, nobody wants to be there, and somehow you always leave with a numb face and an assignment due tomorrow.
Started checking KOSPI once a day. Then hourly. Now I refresh it while sleeping and my phone glows like a nightlight. My wife thinks I'm summoning a demon. I'm just checking if my money disappeared yet.