Coffee Dependency Confession
I told my doctor I drink coffee every morning before I can function. He said, 'That's concerning.' I said, 'No, that's caffeine.' He's still not speaking to me.


















I told my doctor I drink coffee every morning before I can function. He said, 'That's concerning.' I said, 'No, that's caffeine.' He's still not speaking to me.
Monday mornings hit different—my bed and I are in a serious relationship, but my alarm clock keeps threatening to break us up. Turns out the alarm is just trying to *wake* me up to reality.
To win at MSI, you need three things: mechanical skill, perfect map awareness, and the ability to blame your jungler when you die in a 1v5. Spoiler: the third one carries harder.
My boss called an urgent meeting to discuss 'synergy and alignment.' I walked in excited. Two hours later, I walked out with no notes, no answers, and the strong suspicion that we'd all just paid $500 to hear the word 'touch base' seventeen times.
I started a diet Monday: grilled chicken and veggies. Wednesday: just veggies. Friday: I'm eating plain lettuce directly from the garden while eyeing the neighbor's pizza box like a hawk. Sunday: I've become one with the refrigerator.
Soccer fans need three things to understand the offside rule: a PhD in geometry, a slow-motion replay, and acceptance that even the referee doesn't know what just happened.