A blonde sat in the bathroom for 30min. and the people outside started to get angry. The were pounding on the door. She slowly opened the door, only to hear gasps come from the small crowed. Finaly a man asked her why he forehead was covered in lipstick. She answered ” I was trying to MAKE UP my mind.”
This joke was submitted by emily.
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How do you drown a blonde?
You stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool!
This joke was submitted by Maddie.
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A blonde walks into a store and stops to look at some stuff. She decides that she wants the tv and tells an employee she wants to buy it. But the employee told her that blondes were not allowed at the store.
So, the blonde dyes her hair red and comes back to the store. She tells the employee that she wants to buy the tv, but he tells her that blondes are not allowed in the store.
So, she dyes her hair brown and goes into the store. She tells the employee that she wants to buy the tv and the employee tells her no blondes allowed.
So she is really frustrated now and says how do you know I’m blonde??? The employee says that its not a tv, its a microwave.
This joke was submitted by Maddie.
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A blonde enters a bar and asks the barman,
“Oh! Sir! Please! Can you help me? I have just bought two ponies but I can’t tell them apart! What should I do?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their tails,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”
So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me again? Cutting the tails really worked but they’ve grown back! What am I to do now?”
“Why don’t you chop off one of their manes,” the barman replied. “That way you could tell them apart!”
So the blonde left, and came back a month later and said,
“Oh! Please! Can you help me one more time? Cutting the manes really worked but now they’ve grown back. What can I dow now?” She cried in despair and frustration.
“Okay then,” said the barman, who was beginning to get annoyed with the blonde. “Why don’t you measure them?”
So the blonde left and came back the next day.
“Oh thank you so much! Now I can tell my two ponies apart always! The white one is taller than the black one!”
This joke was submitted by Emily.
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There was plane with 600 passengers aboard and the pilot reported that one of the engines have failed, but he says it’s alright, we still have 3 more. It’ll take an hour more than we expected. Half an hour later, the pilot reports that another engine has failed. He says, “But we’ve still got 2 left, it will just take an hour longer than we expected.” The pilot reports half an hour later that the other engine has failed, “But that’s alright,” he says, “We’ve still got 1 more.” Blond says to the guy sitting next to her, “If that last engine fails, we’ll be up here forever.”
This joke was submitted by Brianna.
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A blonde calls her boyfriend at 5 in the afternoon. “I need help with this KILLER tiger puzzle, I’ve been working on it since this morning!” So the boyfriend goes to her house, looks at the puzzle pieces on the table, then the box, and sighed. Okay….First, no matter what we do to this it isn’t going to look ANYTHING like a tiger. Second, relax, de-stress….and third…..” The boyfriend now puts his head in his hand and sighs. “…help me clean up the damn frosted flakes.”
This joke was submitted by Kittehcat.
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A blonde enters a barber shop wearing headphones. The barber tells her she needs to remove them if she wants a haircut. “I need them!” the blonde said. The barber said she needed to take them off again, and again she said “I need them!” Finally, the barber takes off the headphones and the blonde falls to the ground, dead. The barber puts on the headphones to see what was so important, and a voice said…
“Breathe In……….Out. Breathe In………..Out…..”
This joke was submitted by Kittehcat.
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