A blonde on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, “Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?”
“The glaciers brought them down,” said the guide.
“But where are the glaciers?”
“The glaciers,” said the guide in a frustrated tone, “have gone back for more rocks.”
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Blonde 1: That dress is too tight for you. It’s skintight!
Blonde 2: It’s tighter than my skin.
Blonde 1: How could anything be tighter than your skin?
Blonde 2: I can sit down in my skin, but I can’t in this dress.
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A Blonde goes to the bank and applies for a loan.
“I want a loan, I’m going to divorce my husband.”
“Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces” the manager says, “We make loans for appliances, automobiles, businesses, home improvements….”
Blonde interrupts and says, “Well, this is certainly a ‘Home Improvement.’
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A Blonde wandering in the Sahara was wearing a bathing suit and sunglasses.
An Arab which passed by her gazed at her in amazement and asked, “What are you doing all the way out here dressed like that!?”
“I’m going swimming,” the blonde explained.
“But the ocean is eight hundred miles away,” the Arab informed him.
“Eight hundred miles!” the blonde exclaimed with a whistle of appreciation. “Boy, wow, what a beach!”
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Two blonde sisters were lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, one blonde jumps out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this,” and goes downstairs.
Finally she comes back up to bed and says, “The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?”
Blonde says, “I’ve put their dog in our yard – now we’ll see how they like it!”
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Blonde Samantha’s hair kept falling out and she complained to the barber “That stuff you gave me is terrible! You said two bottles of it would make me hair grow, but nothing’s happened.”
“I do not understand it,” said the barber. “That is the best hair restorer made.”
“Well,” said Samantha, “I do not mind drinking another bottle, but it better work!”
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A blonde was filling out an accident report. She had dented a parked car while trying to park her own.
One question on the report was, “What could the operator of the other vehicle have done to avoid the accident?”
She wrote, “He could have parked it somewhere else.”
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