Little Johnny was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked him what the bracelet was for.
Little Johnnyreplied, “I’m allergic to nuts and eggs.”
The person asked, “Are you allergic to cats?”
Little Johnny said, “I don’t know….. I don’t eat cats.”
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The cruise director of a cruise ship was demonstrating to a group of young passengers how the ship manages to stay level at sea.
“Do you know what level means?” he asked the group of six to eight year-olds.
Little Johnny replied immediately. “A level is something you need to pass to get to a harder screen in a video game.”
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A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, want to play house?”
He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”
The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your feelings.”
“Communicate my feelings?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means.”
The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband then.”
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A salesman telephoned a household, and Little Johnny answered. Salesman: “May I speak to your mother?”
Little Johnny: “She’s not here right now.”
Salesman: “Well, is anyone else there?”
Little Johnny: “My sister.”
Salesman: “O.K., fine. May I speak to her?”
Little Johnny: “I guess so.”
At this point there was a very long silence on the phone.
Then:
Little Johnny: “Hello?”
Salesman: “It’s you. I thought you were going to call your sister.”
Little Johnny: “I tried. But I can’t get her out of the playpen.”
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Little Johnny and Little Samantha were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.
“Have you ever seen one of these before?” asked Little Samantha
“Yeah, my mom has one,” Little Johnny replied
Little Samantha – “What’s it for?”
Little Johnny “It’s a cursing machine, Every time my mom stands on it she gets really upset, and curses.”
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Little Johnny had been searching through a stationer’s stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked,
“Just what is it you’re looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend? An anniversary, or a congratulations to your mom and dad?”
Little Johnny shook his head and answered, “No….got any blank report cards?”
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During the minister’s prayer, one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews.
Little Johnny’s mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, “Johnny, whomade you do such a thing?”
Little Johnny answered, soberly, “I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He just then did!”
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