Funny Humans

Smoker

A man sees another leaning against the wall of a large building. The second man is puffing away, one cigarette after another.

The nonsmoker says, “Sir, I couldn’t help noticing how you chain-smoke. How many packs do you smoke a day?”

“Four.”

“How long have you been smoking?”

“Thirty years.”

“That’s over six thousand packs. Why, if you didn’t smoke, you could have saved enough money to buy this building.”

The smoker takes a deep puff and says, “Do you smoke?”

“Never.”

“Do you own this building?”

“No.”

“Well, I do.”


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Good Trade

A man is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend stops him and asks, “Hey! Whacha get the case of beer for?”

“I got it for my wife, eh.” answers the first man.

“Oh!” exclaims the other, “Good trade.”


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A Blind Golfer

Joseph, a blind person meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer. Tiger Woods becomes skeptical about a blind playing golf but says nothing

“When I tee off, ” the blind man explains, “I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim.”

Tiger is impressed, and Joseph suggests that they play a round. When Tiger agrees, Joseph asks, “How about if we play for $100,000?”

Tiger insists he couldn’t possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap.

But Joseph requests until Tiger finally relents and says, “OK, it’s your money… when do you want to play?”

Joseph replies, “I’ll play on any NIGHT you choose!”


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Idiot Chicken Farmer

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.

A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.

A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

“But I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said the idiot, “I think I’m planting them too deep.”


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God And Woman

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God She asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live”

Upon recovery,the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home,she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”

God replied,”I didn’t recognize you.”


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New Meaning Of ABCDEFG

New Meaning Of ABCDEFG


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Prof. Bihari

This is a true incident which happened in a college. A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class.
The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn’t know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted “follow me” .The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted “Don’t follow me” and went inside the class……….

Prof. Bihari

#Inside the Class :
*Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
*Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.

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