Funny Military Jokes

Military Method to Solve A Problem

The soldier was tired and sleepy from a long train ride in a miserable old-day coach. On top of this, two fussy old ladies were keeping him awake with argument about a window.

One wanted it closed and the other wanted it open. This fuss finally brought the conductor.

“Conductor,” said one, “if that window is opened, I’ll just freeze to death!”

“And if it is kept closed,” whined the other, “I’ll suffocate.”

The poor conductor didn’t know what to do and finally turned to the GI for help.”What would you do, soldier, if it were a military problem?”

“In the Army we handle such problems like a double-prong attack. Open the window and freeze one of them, then close it and suffocate the other.”

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Meaning of Marine, Army and Navy

Full forms of Marine
M- Muscles
A- are
R- required
I- intelligence
N- not
E- expected,
S- Sir!

Full forms of Army
A- Ain’t a
R- real
M- Marine
Y- yet.

Full forms of Navy
N- Never
A- again
V- volunteer
Y- yourself

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Women In Military

We have women in the military, but they don’t put us in the front lines. They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, ‘You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.’

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Main Observation

The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they’re stationed. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness had nothing to do with it. Once the men rotated back to the US, all their in-laws were thousands of miles away.

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Innocent Recruit

As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: “Do you know they are all out of step except you?” “What?” asked the recruit innocently. “I said — they are all out of step except you!” thundered the sergeant. The recruit replied, “Well, sarge, you’re in charge — you tell them!”

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True Cadet

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line!”

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Funny Trainer

There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!”

“What was the turning point of world war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!”

“What’s is the importance of May 12” The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday”

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