Funny Nurses Jokes

Nurse And Engineer

Nurse to Engineer: Breathe deeply in and slowly exhale, do it 3 times.
.
Engineer: ok
.
Nurse: What do u feel now….??
.
Engineer: Ur BODY SPRAY is simply awesome babe… .


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Lame Question

A man was disturbing a nurse by asking lame questions every now and then, he asked, “How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?

Nurse: “Cut your head off.”


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Beautiful Nurse

“What do you do?” a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing with. “I’m a nurse.”

“I wish I could be ill and let you nurse me,” he whispered in her ear.

“That would be miraculous. I work on the maternity ward.”


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Who is a Nurse?

Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

Practical Nurse – One who falls in love with a wealthy old patient.

Off duty Nurse – The nurse who can smile when things go wrong.

LPN – Low Paid Nurse.


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Funny Doctor and Nurse

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.

Doctor: What does he call his other eye?


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You Might Be A Nurse If

* discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you

* you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance

* you mutter, “great veins” when being introduced to a complete stranger

* you think that caffeine should be available in IV form.

* your feet are flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone’s

* you refer to motorcyclists as “organ donors.”

* your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat

* you stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth when coughing or sneezing.


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Nurse Joke

Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?
It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn’t at work anymore!


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