A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.“I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he
announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?”
Nine hands went up.
“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man.
“Too much trouble,” came the reply.
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1. A student’s leave letter:
“As I am suffering from my uncle’s marriage I cannot attend the class….”
2. A candidate’s application:
“This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘typist And an accountant - Male or Female’… As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post.”
3. I.T.I.: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.
4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”
5. A leave letter to the headmaster:
“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”
6. An incident of a leave letter:
“I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.”
7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.
8. A covering note:
“I am enclosed herewith…”
9. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.
10. Actual letter written for application of leave:
“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave”.
11. Letter writing:
“I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.”
12. Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding:
“As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave…”
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1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS : Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
11. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
12. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
13. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
14. ORACLE : Online Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees
15. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments
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9:00 Starting time
9:15 Arrive at work
10:00 Coffee break
11:00 Check e-mail
11:30 Prepare for lunch
12:00 Lunch
2:00 Browse the Internet
3:00 Tea break
3:30 Check e-mail again
4:00 Prepare to go home
4:45 Go home
5:00 Finishing Time
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The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked him.
“John,” the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”
The new guy sighed and said, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”
“Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is…”
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A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside.
One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old.
“Hold it, hold it,” the fellow said to the men. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with this digging?”
“Well, we work for the county government,” one of the men said.
“But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You’re not accomplishing anything. Aren’t you wasting the county’s money?”
“You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. “Normally there’s three of us, me, Joe and Mike. I dig the hole, Joe sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back.”
“Yea,” piped up Mike. “Now just because Joe is sick, that doesn’t mean we can’t work, does it?”
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“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees.
“Yes, Sir.” the employee replied.
“Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the boss went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”
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