Barn on Fire
One day an old person drove to his best friend’s barn farm and noticed his barn was on fire.
“Your barn’s burning down,” he yelled.
“I know it,” said the other old person , “I’m sittin’ here prayin’ for rain.”
Email This Post
Funny Old People Jokes
Email This Post
Old Lady at an Art Exhibition
An old lady went at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. One of the contemporary paintings caught her eye and she inquired of the tour guide, “What on earth is that?”
He smiled condescendingly. “That, dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and child.”
“Well, then,” snapped the little old lady, “why isn’t it?”
Email This Post
Tax Collector Office
An old man walks into the tax collector’s office and sat down and smiled at everyone.
“May I help you?” said the clerk in charge.
“No,” said the old man. “I just wanted to meet the people I have been working for all these years.”
Email This Post
Ashes over Wal-Mart
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed.
‘Why Wal-Mart?’
‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.’
Email This Post
Very Rude Man
Two Old Rednecks were sitting and suddenly, Bill said to John, “I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!”
“How did you meet this fellow?” John asked, very concerned.
Bill said, “Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car.”
Email This Post
Pigeon Flies
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman’s head.
“Yech!” says the woman. “Get some toilet paper.”
“What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now.”
Email This Post
Elderly Gentleman’s Will
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.
He went back in a month and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.’
The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’
Email This Post