Funny One Liners

Q: Why are Egyptian children always confused?

Q: Why are Egyptian children always confused?

A: Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.


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Only “Itch Guard” can

Only “Itch Guard” can claim that it started it’s business from ‘scratch’.


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If every child starts swapping their mummy

If every child starts swapping their mummy papa mobile phones. Soon we will become the country with the highest divorce rate!


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Tips For Boys

tips For boys-
if you marry one girl,she will fight with you.
if you marry two girls,they will fight for u….
think different


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A newly wedded desperate soldier

A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note:
Dearest Mom,
If you pull this ring, I’ll be able to get 3 days leave.


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Two prisoners were waiting to be executed.

Two prisoners were waiting to be executed. “Any last requests?” asked the jailer.
“Yes”, replied one of the prisoners. “I love music; so before
I die, could you play me something by Himesh Resham”
And the second prisoner said, “Please kill me first.”


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In Life,Don’t Be A Rat In A Rat Race Coz

In Life,Don’t Be A Rat In A Rat Race Coz Even If You Win You’ll Still Be A Rat,
Instead Be With Lions, Even If You Lose You’ll Still Be A Lion!


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What’s the similarity between Income Tax and a Caller Tune?

What’s the similarity between Income Tax and a Caller Tune?
.
..

In both the cases, one pays the money and others enjoy.


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Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Pappu: I want to follow in my father’s footsteps and be a
policeman.
Teacher: I didn’t know your father was a policeman.
Pappu: He isn’t. He’s a burglar!


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Laughter is the Best medicine,

Laughter is the Best medicine,
.
.
.
.
But if you are laughing without any reason, you need Medicine..


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Man: “One Vodka Price”

Man: “One Vodka Price”
Bar Man: “Rs. 5/- Sir”
Man: “What Only Rs. 5/-? Can I Also Have One Plate Kebabs Please?”
Bar Man: “Rs. 7/- Sir”
Man: “Wow That’s Really Cheap, Can I Meet The Owner?”
Bar Man: “No Sir, He’s Busy With My Girlfriend”
Man: “What’s He Doing With Your Girlfriend?”
Bar Man: “The Same Thing That I’m Doing To His Business Here“


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Ramu Was Awarded 2010 Nobel Prize

Ramu Was Awarded 2010 Nobel Prize For His New Theory Of Motion Which States
Loose Motion Can Never Be Done In Slow Motion.


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What is a ghost’s favorite dish?

What is a ghost’s favorite dish?

Ice-Scream!


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You can make a witch itch, how?

You can make a witch itch, how?

Just take out the ‘w’!


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Why did the police arrested the ghost?

Why did the police arrested the ghost?

Because he does not have a haunting license!


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What was the topic in ghost’s seminar?

What was the topic in ghost’s seminar?

“Do you believe in people”?!


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What was ghost ordered in the coffee shop?

What was ghost ordered in the coffee shop?

Cold coffee with sugar and scream!


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During The Halloween Party

During the Halloween party, the first prize for the best costume is given to a little boy. But he seems very unhappy. His friend asked him why he is so sad. The little boy replied that “oh, I just came here to pick up my sister”!


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What happens if you see twin witches ?

What happens if you see twin witches ?

You won’t be able to see which witch is witch !


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Where did the ghost went to post his mail?

Where did the ghost went to post his mail?

At the Ghost office!


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