1) The farm was used to produce produce.

2) We must polish the Polish furniture.

3) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

4) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

5) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

6) I did not object to the object.

7) They were too close to the door to close it.

8 ) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

9) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

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Deer Kill 17,000

Eye Drops off Shelf

War Dims Hope for Peace

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Include your Children When Baking Cookies

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

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1. No thanks, I’m married.

2. Nope, no more booze for me!

3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.

4. I’m not interested in fighting you.

5. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!

6. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.

7. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

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* I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.

* I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn’t actually reach it.

* I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.

* I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.

* I couldn’t figure out whether I am the square of negative one or I am the square root of negative one.

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