Funny Redneck Jokes

Two Rednecks Talking

Two rednecks were sitting next to each other. One says to the other, “I have such a big farm I could climb in my truck, and it would take me two days to get across the whole farm!”

The other redneck turns back to him and replies, “My kid also used to have a truck like that!”

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Stop it! Stop it!

A redneck is riding in a cab when they see a guy kicking a woman who’s lying on the sidewalk.

The cabbie zooms over, jumps out, and runs to help the lady.

Redneck rolls down the window, and starts yelling, “Stop it! Stop it! Stop the meter!”

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Redneck Talking With A Frog

A talking Frog told John, John, you don’t have any brain.

John said, I have it.

Frog repeated, No you don’t.

Excited John yelled, Yes, I have it.

Angry Frog, screamed, No hell, you don’t. and Frog jumps into the water.

Perturbed John mumbled to himself, There was no need to drown and commit suicide for it!!

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Very Rude Man

Two Old Rednecks were sitting and suddenly, Bill said to John, “I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!”

“How did you meet this fellow?” John asked, very concerned.

Bill said, “Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car.”

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Big Red Trucks

A redneck came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry over here. My house is on fire!”

“OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?”

“Shucks, don’t you still have those big red trucks?”

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To Give Directions

Three Redneck Ricky, Jimmy, and Stewart were out riding their bikes one afternoon when a fire engine zoomed past with blaring sirens.

The three kids noticed a Dalmatian on the front seat of the fire engine.

Ricky commented, “They use that dog to keep the crowds back.”

“No,” said Jimmy, “he’s just for good luck.”

But Stewart knew better, “No, that’s not it,” he said. “The dog is there to give them directions to the nearest fire hydrant!”

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Redneck in Hotel

A redneck checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.

Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, “You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?” T

The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”

The redneck says, ” Well, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom. There’s a second door that goes into the closet. And there’s a door I haven’t tried, but it has a ‘do not disturb’ sign on it.”

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