Funny Travel Jokes

Need Visa

A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.

After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. “Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”

I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”


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Real Smart Answer

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?”

The girl leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing.”


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Yanks in London

Two Yanks touring London in a taxi. What is that asked one of the Yank’s. Why that is Buckingham Palace answered the taxi driver. Well you should see the states we have much bigger houses over there, and that. That is the Post Office Tower. Oh our towers are much bigger. This went on for much of the day until they went past a another building. Our buildings are much bigger than that one too. I thought it might be said the taxi driver, That is the mental institute


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Redneck in Hotel

A redneck checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.

Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, “You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?” T

The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”

The redneck says, ” Well, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom. There’s a second door that goes into the closet. And there’s a door I haven’t tried, but it has a ‘do not disturb’ sign on it.”


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Tourist in New York

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk!

He runs around and yells, “Hey, bud, this is my car!” “OK,” the man says, “You take the front and I`ll take the back.”


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Redneck In A Big City

A redneck, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel’s clerk about the time of meals.

“Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8,” explained the clerk.

“Look here,” inquired the farmer in redneck, “when am I going to get time to see the city?”


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Shakespeare’s Birthplace

A huge American car screeched to a halt in a sleepy English village, and the driver called out to a local inhabitant, “Say, am I on the right road for Shakespeare’s birthplace?” “Ay, straight on, sir,” said the rustic, “but no need to hurry. He’s dead.”


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