8 Laws of Cats
1. Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
2. Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
3. Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
4. Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
5. Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.
6. First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
7. Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
8. Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
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