You Know your 60th birthday is coming when

Happy hour is a nap.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

You and your teeth don’t sleep together anymore.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”

You realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

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