Funny Exam Answers

The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England. These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.

Ques. Name the four seasons
Ans. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Ques. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
Ans. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Ques. How is dew formed
Ans. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Ques. What causes the tides in the oceans
Ans. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Ques. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
Ans. Premature death

Ques. How can you delay milk turning sour
Ans. Keep it in the cow

Ques. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
Ans. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Ques. What is a seizure?
Ans. A Roman Emperor.

Ques. What is a terminal illness
Ans. When you are sick at the airport.