Funny Jokes - Page 11

A Good Teacher According To Students Is One Who

A good teacher according to students is One who :

-Should Be Absent At Least 3 Times A Week
-Should Come In Class 10mins Late And Left The Class 10 Mins Earlier
-Should Not Give Any Homework And Assignments
-Should Not Ask Any Questions To Students
-Should Not Disturb The Students By Teaching While They Are Talking


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4 Stages of Marriage

4 Stages of marriage:

1. Mad for each other….

2. Made for each other….

3. Mad at each other….

4. Mad bcoz of each other…


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Height of Addiction

Height of Addiction: Just bofore a prisoner was ready to be hanged to death the officer asked him about his last wish..!!
He said- I want to update MyFACEBOOK status as DIED ..!!


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Before Marriage And After Marriage

Before Marriage:-

He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait

she: Do you want me 2 leave?

He: No! don’t even think about it

She: Do you love me ?

He: Ofcourse! over n over!

She: Have u ever cheated on me?

He: No!y r u even asking?

She: will u go on wid me on picnic?

He: Every chance I get!

She: Will u hit me ?

He: R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust u?

He: Yes..

She: Darling!

After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top


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I Heard You Failed In English?

Boy: I heard you failed in English?
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Girl: who TELLED you? It’s unpossible, I will checked the results yesterday and I passed away…….. :p


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Now read it all without the word cat!

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,
keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!


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Teacher: where is Everest?

Teacher: where is Everest?
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Student: I don’t know Mam….
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Teacher: You Stand on the desk!
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Student: Still cannot see ma’am


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DRINKS”

“DRINKS”
D-elicious aftr 1 Peg.
R-omantic aftr 2 peg.
I-nterested aftr 3 peg.
N-aughty aftr 4 peg.
K-ing aftr 5 peg.
S-nake aftr 6 peg…..


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When I Was Studying My Mom Was Calling Me

When I was Studying My Mom Was calling me..
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But I did not respond.. I was deeply involved in Studies But she Called me again n again..
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I shouted
Plz Leave me to Study, My exam is near plz I want to Study, I want to Study My Mom Slapped me and
said Stop Dreaming “Wakeup n Study


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Husband: Oh My God, He Is Still Celebrating…!

Wife: Look At that drunker.
Husband: Who is he ?
Wife: 10yrs back he proposed me I rejected him
Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating…!


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Boyfriend : Please Keep Me In Your Brain, Not In Your Heart…..

Boyfriend : Please Keep Me In Your Brain, Not In Your Heart..
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Girlfriend : How Funny, Why Not Heart..?
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Boyfriend : Because
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Your Heart Is Housefull And Brain Is Empty, More Empty Space Means More Comfort.


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Just Imagine Life Without Boyz

Just Imagine Life Without Boyz:::
Roads Silent
Collages Empty
Police At Rest
All Mobile Companies In Loss
No Sms
No Gift
No Alcohol
No Bikes
No Crime
No Couples
Which Means World Depends On Us;;;;;
BOYS ROCKS


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Then Why Not We Say 11 As Onety One?

We Pronounce
22 As Twenty Two,
33 As Thirty Three,
44 As Forty Four,
55 As Fifty Five…..
Then Why Not We Say 11 As Onety One?………..
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Doubt By – Last Bench Association.
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Moral- Real Genius Are Sitting On Last Benches!


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Boyz Are Always IDIOTS….

If Girls Is In Love, Her Parents Asks :Who Is That Idiot ?
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If Boyz Is In Love, His Parents Asks ? Idiot Who Is That Girl ?
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MORAL : No Matter Whoever In Love, Boyz Are Always IDIOTS….


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Husband You Will Never Succeed In Making That Dog Obey You

Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey you !

Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,

I had a lot of trouble with u at first…….


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Wife To Her Husband…. Can u help me in the gardening?

Wife: Can u help me in the gardening?

Husband: What do u think I am…a gardener?

Wife: Can u fix the door handle?

Husband: What do you think I am… a Carpenter?

Next day, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.

Husband: Who did all this ?

Wife: Our neighbour. But he gave me two options…..Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.

Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger. Wife: What do u think I am…….McDonalds


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Never Underestimate The Power Of Three Things

Never underestimate the power of three things;

1. Wife angry for a reason;

2. Wife angry without reason

and

3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason.


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A newly married husband saved his wife’s mobile number

A newly married husband saved his wife’s mobile number on his mobile as- “ My LIFE ”


After one year of marriage he changed the Number to- “ My WIFE ”


After 2 years of marriage he changed the number to- “ My HOME ”


After 5 years of marriage he changed the number to- “ HITLER



&
After 10 years of marriage he changed the number to- “ WRONG NUMBER ”


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Meet My Wife Tina

Boy1 : Meet my wife Tina

Boy2 : Oh! I know her

Boy1 : How?

Boy2 : We were caught sleeping together

Boy1 : What the hell?

Boy2 : During lecture in maths class

Think +ve


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Manager: Do You Know Anything About This Fax-Machine?

Manager: Do you know anything about this fax-machine?

Staff: A little. What’s wrong sir?

Manager: Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.

Staff: How did you load the sheet?

Manager: I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it.


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