Computer Tips 1

* Buy a Pentium 686/300, so you can reboot faster.

* 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2 (especially with the old Pentium chip).

* Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

* My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.

* C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL

* C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN

* Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put in new ones.

* The name is Baud… James Baud.

* Access denied–nah nah na nah nah!

* C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

* Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! STAAAY…

* Why doesn’t DOS ever say “EXCELLENT command or file name!”

* As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

* Backups? We don’t need no stinking backups.

* E Pluribus Modem

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