Funny Computer Jokes - Page 2

PC Cup Holder

Caller: ‘Hello, is this Tech Support?’

Tech: ‘Yes, it is. How may I help you?’

Caller: ‘The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period.How do I go about getting that fixed?’

Tech: ‘I`m sorry, but did you say a cup holder?’ Caller: ‘Yes, it`s attached to the front of my computer.’

Tech: ‘Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It`s because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional offer, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?’

Caller: ‘It came with my computer, I don`t know anything about a promotional. It just has `4X` on it.’

Tech: Sir, that’s the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive and not a cup holder.


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Times Have Changed

15 years ago…..

A program was….. a television show

An application was…. for employment

Windows were….. something you hated to clean

A keyboard was…. a piano

Memory was…. something you lost with age

A CD was… a bank account

If you unzipped in public you went to jail

Compress was something you did to garbage

A hard drive was a long trip on the road

Log on was adding wood to a fire

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

Cut you did with scissors

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider’s home

And a virus was the flu!!!

SURE TIMES HAVE CHANGED!


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IT Industry Joke

If you have been in IT industry too long these are your symptoms:

1.) U use phrases like “No issues” and “Value addition” in everyday parlance. For e.g. When talking about your doodhwalla, U say, “His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues”
2.) Ur prime source of entertainment is the forwards send to U by friends whose faces U cant remember.
3.) U drink more tea or coffee than water.
4.) U keep trying to shut down ur home computer by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del (used to lock office comps)
5.) When ur mobile rings at home, U rush outside to receive the call.
6.) When U make calls at home, U accidentally dial “0”to get an outside line.
7.) U haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.
8.) Ur last crush was a girl in HR, ur current crush is the new girl in HR and all ur crushes in the future will be girls in HR.
9.) U spend the entire day reading forwards, smoking cigarettes, drinking tea/coffee and playing T.T. and then complain about the late working hours.
10.) Ur important ‘meetings’ usually comprise two or three people max, including yourself.
11) U secretly prepare for CAT only to find ur PL sitting behind you at the exam.
13.) U keep pressing Ctrl+Enter wondering why your gmail is not going.
14.) U email ur mate who works at the desk next to U.
15.) As U read this list, U r thinking of sending it to ur friends who are also in IT.
16.)U r too busy to notice there was no line no. 12
17.)U r not sure so u scroll back check it .
18.)And now u r smiling!!!!


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Useless Microsoft

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.”

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

“I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.”


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Computer Woman

Hard Disk Women:
She remember Everything ,FOREVER

Ram Women:
She forgets about you,the moment you turn her off.

Windows Women:
Everyone know’s that she can’t do a thing right,but no one can live without her.

Excel Women:
She can do lot of thing,But you mostly use her for your basic needs.

ScreenSaver Women:
She is good for nothing but atleast she is fun.

Internet Women:
Difficult to access.

Server Women:
Always Busy When you need her.

Multimedia women:
She makes horrible things looks beatiful.

CDROM Women:
She is always faster and faster

Email Women:
Every ten things she says,eight are nonsense.

Virus Women: Also known as WIFE.When you are not expecting her ,she comes install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose something.If you dont try to uninstall her,you will lose everthing.


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Great Writer At Work

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.


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Mac Is Not Popular

I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.
I was against it and an argument started.
I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.
He responded, “When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?”
And I said “See, even people who write viruses don’t support Macs.”


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