A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job.

He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.

He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, “You are the reason I don’t have a wife”, second bottle, “You are the reason I don’t have my children”, third bottle “You are the reason I lost my job”.

He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says “Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved”.

Two friends Monty and Jonty were sitting in a park and drinking beer.

Monty said “I think I’m going to divorce my wife – she hasn’t spoken to me in over 6 months.”

Jonty sips his beer and says, “You better think it over – women like that are hard to find.”

The car sped off the highway, went through the guard rail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop. A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck.

“Good lord, mister,” he gasped, “Are you drunk?”

“Of course,” said the man, brushing the dirt from his suit. “What the hell do you think I am … a stunt driver?”

Scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists gave100 men 24 bottles of beer each.

The scientists observed that 100% of the male test group gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive.