A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place.
They put up a big bold sign which read:
“WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!”
Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign:
“WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS”
This joke was submitted by Sadie.
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The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.
He turned on the jockey.
“Johnny, could you not have raced faster?”
“Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse.”
This joke was submitted by Drake.
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An manager walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, “I want coffee”.
The waiter says, “Sure Sir, coming right up”.
He gets the manager a tall mug of coffee, and the manager drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the manager returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, “I want coffee”.
The waiter says, “Whoa, we’re still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway”?
The manager smiles and proudly says, “I am training for upper management position. Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave a mess for others to clean up, and disappear for rest of day.
This joke was submitted by Yasino.
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Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the ground. While floating over a country road, they see a man walking below. One of the balloonists calls down to him:
“We’re lost! Can you tell us where we are?”
The man thinks for a while, looks down, looks up, looks down again, stares into space for a minute, and then cries out:
“You’re in a balloon!”
The wind picks up, and the balloon floats off. After a moment, one balloonist says to the other:
“That man must be a manager.”
“Why?”
“Three reasons. First, he took a long time to answer. Second, he was perfectly correct. Third, his answer was perfectly useless!”
This joke was submitted by Yoko.
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1. If it rings, put it on hold.
2. If it clunks, call the repairman.
3. If it whistles, ignore it.
4. If it’s a friend, stop work and chat.
5. If it’s the boss, look busy.
6. If it talks, take notes.
7. If it’s handwritten, type it.
8. if it’s typed, copy it.
9. If it’s copied, file it.
10. If it’s Friday, forget it!
This joke was submitted by Yan.
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The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don’t know. Those who know are no problem.
Those who don’t know are also in two groups.
One is those who don’t know and know they don’t know. Well, they can learn!
But then, there are those who don’t know, and don’t know they don’t know. And they become unit managers!
This joke was submitted by Yale.
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The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.
“My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”
“It was terrible,” her husband said, “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.”
This joke was submitted by Roger.
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