Funny Questions and Answers

Who has the most fun when you tickle a mule?
He may enjoy it but you’ll get a bigger kick out of it.

If Johns mom has 5 sons and their names are Ja, Je, Ji, and Jo.
Who is the last one?
John.

On your way home you take a right and three lefts then you see two men in masks.
Who are those men?
They are the umpire and the catcher.

What do you get when you cross Pikachu with Exeggcute?
Fried Eggs!

Why do bees have sticky hair?
They use honeycombs.

What could you call the small rivers that flow into the Nile?
Juveniles. What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

What kind of flower do you have between your nose and your chin?
Tulips.

Why is it possible to see through preachers?
They are holy.

Why is Cinderella such a bad baseball player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach. And…
Because she ran away from the ball.

Why did the old house see the doctor?
Because it had window pains.

Why were the little ink drops crying?
Because papa was in the pen and no one knew how long the sentence would be.

Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed.
(Think about it)

Why is an island like the letter “T”?
It is in the middle of “waTer”.

Why is an empty room like a room full of married people?
There isn’t a single person in it.

Why is Piglet so nasty?
Because he plays with Pooh!

Why did the girl run outside with her purse open?
She heard there was going to be some change in the weather.

Why wouldn’t the Energizer Bunny come out of the bathroom?
Because he kept goin’ and goin’ and goin’!

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the busy street?
Because he had lost his nerves. And…
Because he had no guts!

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, and cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double crosser.

Why aren’t elephant’s allowed on the beach?
They always have their trunks down!

Why was ten afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine and he was next in line.

Why are mountain climbers curious?
They always want to take another peak.

Since he lost his hair, why is Mr. Timothy More like an American City?
Because he is “Bald Tim More”!

How can you tell who is Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?
He has sesame seed buns.

How many cockroaches does it take to screw on a lightbulb?
Can’t tell. As soon as the light comes on, they scatter!

How do you get on t.v.?
Sit on it.

How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?
A bucaneer.

How many penguins does it take to fly an airplane?
None. Penguins can’t fly!

How many letters are in the alphabet?
Really 26, but 24, since E.T. went home.

How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little bugee in it!

How do you make holy water?
Boil the hell out of it!

How do you make “nor do we” into one word?
ONE WORD

How do you make 7 even?
Take away the S!

How do you make a hot dog stand?
Take it’s chair away.

How do you catch an elephant?
Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, surround it by peas.
When he comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

How do you keep a rhino from charging?
Take away his credit card.

How do really small people call each other?
On microphones.

How did a boy that was failing every subject get to high school anyway?
He rode the bus.

How did the carpenter break his teeth?
He chewed his nails.

How can you cut the sea in two?
With a seasaw.

(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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