Funny Blonde Jokes - Page 6

Funny Blonde Joke – Donations

A blonde, brunette, and redhead went to a church to donate money. The brunette draws a circle around her and throws up all her money.

She says that whatever lands inside the circle is for God, and whatever lands outside of the circle she keeps.

The redhead then draws a line, stands on it, and throws up all of her money. She said that whatever lands on the right side of the line is for God, and whatever lands on the left side she keeps.

The blonde throws up her money, and yells,”God, whatever you catch is yours, and whatever you don’t I get to keep.”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Bowling Team

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn’t hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
View Full Post


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Jokes – Collection of dumb blonde jokes

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that…….

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate.”

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.
View Full Post


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Cliff jump

A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. Which made it to the ground first?

The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Blonde With Gun

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry! She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!” “Shut up,” she says, “You’re next.”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Air Freshner

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches a ‘blonde lady’ driver. “Mam, is there a reason that you’re weaving all over the road”? The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!” Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, “Ma’am… that’s your air freshener.”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Tragedy

One day, a blonde’s neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. ”I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Burning Building

There once was a Blonde, Brunette, and a Red-Head who were stuck on a burning building. Some fireman came and said,”Brunette, Brunette, Jump downp down!” So she jumped but they moved the blanket they had so she fell on the ground and died. Then they said,”Red-Head, Read-Head, Jump down, Jump down!”And she said,”No I saw what you did to the Brunette!” They just said,”Thats because we don’t like Brunettes!” So she jumped but they moved the blanket they had so then she fell on the ground and died. Then they said,”Blonde, Blonde Jump down, Jump down!”And she said,”No I saw what you did to the Brunette and the Red-Head!” They just said,”Thats because we don’t like Brunettes and Red-Heads!” “Oh no you don’t!” she yelled.”I’m not that stupid,Just put the blanket on the ground and step away!”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Blonde and brunettes

A blonde is walking down the street after a long day of shopping. She sees a brunette in the street jumping and yelling, “26…26…26…!” The blonde thinks this looks like a lot of fun. The blonde asks if she can join her and the brunette says yes. The blonde puts down her bags and starts to jump and yell, “26…26…26…!” The blonde is having so much fun she doesn’t notice that the brunette left and is standing on the sidewalk. Suddenly the blonde got hit by a truck. The brunette goes back in the street and start jumping and yelling, “27…27…27…!”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – One Calorie

Two blondes decided to share a can of diet soda. One blonde opened the can, poured half the contents into her own glass, and the other half into her friend’s glass. Before throwing the can away, she stopped to read the nutritional information on the side. “Wow, there’s only one calorie per can,” she commented. “Hmmmm,” replied her friend, “I wonder which glass has the calorie!”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Numbers Only

The census taker rang the doorbell and was greeted by an attractive blonde woman. He explained he was from the Census Bureau and wanted to know how many were in the family. “Let’s see now,” she said, twirling a strand of her hair, “there’s me, my husband, and our children Beth, Steven, Aaron, Janice, Caroline, Will….” “I’m not interested in names,” the census taker interrupted, “numbers will be sufficient.” “Oh, we don’t use numbers,” she replied. “We haven’t run out of names yet!”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Follow The Tracks

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde, had set up camp and became very much in need of food, so they went out hunting. A little while had passed and the brunette came back to camp with a bear. The other two asked how he got the bear. He said, “I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, I get the bear.” The next day, they go hunting again and the redhead comes back to camp with a deer. The other two asked how he got the deer. He said, “I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, I get the deer.” The following day, they go hunting again and the blonde comes back to camp all bloody and disfigured. The other two asked what happened. He said, “I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, I get hit by train.”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Financial Advice

A blonde college co-ed ran in tears to her father. “Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!” she sobbed. “I did? What did I tell you?” her father asked. “You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble,” she sniffed.. “What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the state,” her father said. “There must be some mistake.” “I don’t think so,” she cried. “They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’!”


Email This Post Email This Post

Funny Blonde Joke – Raffle

A blonde was walking down the street carrying a pig under her arm. A man who was walking past her stopped and asked, “Where did you get that?” “I won her in a raffle!” the pig replied.


Email This Post Email This Post

Data transfer

Data transfer :when a blonde blows in another blonde’s ear


Email This Post Email This Post

Short Blonde Joke

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.


Email This Post Email This Post

Knitting

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”


Email This Post Email This Post

In a vacuum

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it ?”
She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off ?”


Email This Post Email This Post

Ounces of brain for sale

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.

“How much does it cost for engineer brain?”

“Three dollars an ounce.”

“How much does it cost for programmer brain?”
View Full Post


Email This Post Email This Post

Helping an overweight blonde

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.

The blonde followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.

At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away ?”


Email This Post Email This Post