Funny Junk

Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
A discussion that occurs when you’re right but he just hasn’t realized it yet.

Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v.
To go to the cash machine and hit “inquire”.

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone, who is able to create a style, you will never be able to duplicate again. See also “Magician”.

Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day ,when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Zillion (zil*yen) n.
The number of times you ask someone to take out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway.

Stairs with pillar in between.
Do you know this civil engineer ?

What a way to get out of class!! nice way to bunk:)

The funny cute cats doing everything possible to hurt themselves…

Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Bill Clinton are on the titanic. When it starts to sink Carter yells, “Quick, save the women and children!” Nixon: “Screw the women and children” Clinton: “Do we have time?”

Clinton walks out into his garden one day and in the snow he says “bastard” written in piss. He is so outraged he goes into the oval office and calls the CIA and FBI to tell them to find out who did this horrible thing to his garden.

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A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press the doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small, and the doorbell is placed at normal adult height, and the little fellow just can’t reach.

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Pedro was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.

Looking up toward heaven, he said “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila.”

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A boy asks his father to use the car and the father replies “No, not until you cut your hair!”. The boy replies “But father…Jesus had long hair!” to which his father says, “Yeah, but Jesus walked everywhere.”

An extremely funny Olympics practice going on…