Q: What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?

Q: What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?

A: A fly can fly but a mosquito can’t mosquito.

Full form of L.E.C.T.U.R.E.S

Do you know what should be the full form of L.E.C.T.U.R.E.S?

It should be

Literally Effective in Causing The United Response of Everyone Sleeping.

Santa calls White House

Santa calls WHITE HOUSE

Santa: I want to become the next president of USA…

Obama: Are u an Idiot?

Santa: No, Why? Is it Compulsory to be an Idiot?

While in examination hall

While in examination hall :

1st one hour – calligraphy
2nd one hour – cursive writing
3rd one hour – doctor writing..

Classic insult

Boyfriend: can you be the moon of my life?

Girlfriend: Awww Yes sweetheart..!

Bf: Great! then Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!! ????

Cow during an earthquake

Question: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?

think…

.

think harder…

.

Answer: A milk shake!

3 Ways to write in an Exam

3 Ways to write in EXAM:

Look up for INSPIRATION,
Look down for CONCENTRATION
and
Look around for INFORMATION!

Girl’s heart is like water

Girl’s heart is like water,
Boy’s heart is like mobile,

Water falls on mobile,
Or
Mobile falls in water,

The damage is for mobile only.

4 Dangerous Weapons

4 dangerous weapons in the world bigger than nuclear bomb:

1. Wife’s Smile
2. Wife’s Tear
3. Wife’s Looks

And the most dangerous,

4. Wife’s Missed Call.!

Employee to his boss,
“Sir,Increase my salary, I got married recently.”

The boss replied,
“The Company cannot compensate for the accidents happened outside of the company.”

Gangster’s son

Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad
when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything.” ????

Salman Khan vs Suzzane Roshan – #Kick

Salman khan made KICK to earn 200 Crores

Suzzane Gave KICK, will get 400 Crores

#PoorHrithik

Wi-Fi stopped working

Today my Wi-Fi Suddenly Stopped Working
.
.
.
.
..
..
Then I Realized that my Neighbors haven’t paid the bill..
How irresponsible they are..!!!!

Once a guy winked at Rajnikant’s wife

Once a guy winked at Rajnikant’s wife…

Rajni the boss twisted his limbs and broke his eyelids…

We now know him as Baba Ramdev..!!!

Boy looks into Girl’s Purse

One boy looks into a girl’s purse in a classroom…

She says.. it’s bad manners ????

he says.. it’s not 🙂

She asks… why?

He replies… Because.. members of the same class can access private data!!

——–
Typical – C++/Java Students ????

Indian Cricketers: Do v/s Die

What Indian cricketers think about “DO Vs DIE” ..

Ganguly: Do or die.

Sehwag: Do before you die.

Dravid: DO until they die.

Tendulkar: Do that will never die…

Laxman: Do when everyone else die.

Dhoni: Do everything before luck die.

Yuvraj: Do, die, reborn, do, die, reborn (repeat)….

Indian definition of Electricity

Teacher: What is Electricity ?

Little Johny: Electricity is the daughter of Govt. and has extremely loose character,
she goes anytime,
anywhere without telling anyone,
even at midnight !

I saw you on Road today

I saw You on the ROAD today.
U were looking So fine,
Your face SO divine,
Your walk SO perfect.

My HEART started singing a Sweet Song:

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!

Husband, Wife and A Phone Call

Phone rings at night…

Husband: If its for me, then say I am not at home!

Wife (on phone): He is at home…

Husband (in anger): What the HELL??

Wife: SHUT UP, It was for ME!! ????

Never Underestimate the power of…

Never underestimate the power of three things;

1. Wife angry for a reason;

2. Wife angry without reason

and

3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason.