Personal Experience’s One Liners

I was so poor growing up … if I wasn’t a boy … I’d have had nothing to play with.

A girl phoned me the other day and said, “Come on over; nobody’s home. “I went over. Nobody was home.

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning … put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.

I was such an ugly kid…When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.

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