Good Cook
The School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say your prayers before eating?”
“No sir,” little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to. My Mom is a good cook.”
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Funny Teachers Joke - Page 7
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Back Tomorrow
Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.
His mother asks, “What did you learn in school today?”
Little Johnny replies, “Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
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Little Johnny in Math Class
“If you had a dollar,” quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?”
“One dollar.” answered little Johnny.
“You don’t know your basic math.” said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.
Little Johnny shook his head too, “You don’t know my daddy.”
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Little Johnny’s Quick Reply
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: “I ain’t had no fun in months.”
Then asked the class, “How should I correct this sentence?”
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, “Get yourself a new boyfriend.”
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Teacher and Little Johnny
Teacher to Little Johnny – When is your birthday?
Little Johnny – 17th July.
Teacher – What year?
Little Johnny – Every year!
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Biting Insects
The Teacher asked Little Johnny, “How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?”
Little Johnny replied, “Just Don’t bite any.”
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Devil or Santa Claus
School teacher asked Little Johnny, “Do you believe in the Devil?”
“No,” said Little Johnny. “It’s the same as Santa Claus. I know it’s my daddy.”
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Teacher and Little Johnny
Teacher to Little Johnny – Tell me one thing which flies in the sky but gives birth on earth
Little Johnny replies in a fraction of second- Air Hostess
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Thanksgiving Pilgrims
Teacher: “Where did the Pilgrims ( of thanksgiving) come from?”
Little Johnny: “Their parents, of course!”
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Little Johnny Learning Numbers
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four,” answers little Johnny.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven,” answers little Johnny.
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” answers little Johnny.
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Little Johnny Defines Eight
Teacher: How much is half of 8
Little Johnny: Up and down or across ?
Teacher: What do you mean ?
Little Johnny: Well,up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0
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Little Johnny’s Math
Teacher: “Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?”
Little Johnny: “It’s 42!”
Teacher: “Very good! – And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?”
Little Johnny: “It’s 24!”
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Four Worms
A teacher decided to show the ill effects of alcohol and cigarette to the class and thus four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the class, the teacher reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol -Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil -Alive.
So the teacher asked the class,”What did you learn from this demonstration?”
Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said, ‘As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!’
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True Teacher
Teacher : Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.
Father: What’s that?
Teacher : With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.
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Little Attention
Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I’m paying as little attention as I can.
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Earth is Round
Teacher asked Little Johnny: How can you prove the earth is round?
Little Johnny replied: I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.
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School Ahead Go Slow
Teacher asked : Why are you late for school?
Johnny: Because of the Sign.
Teacher : What Sign?
Johnny : The sign that says “School ahead go slow”
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Important in 1700
The teacher said to Little Johnny, “What important in the 1700’s people did not have that we have Today.”
Little Johnny said, “ME.”
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Future Tense
Teacher:(I killed a person.)tell me this sentence in future tense.
Student: In future tense, (You will go to jail.)
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God Doesn’t Exist
One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her. Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn’t believe in God.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said, “But I thought God created mankind?”
Ms. Evans then replied, “Well can you see God?”
“No.”
“Hear God?”
“No.”
“Feel God?”
“No.” This went on for quite a while.
“Well then God doesn’t exist.”
Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, “Can you see Ms. Evan’s brain. No, so that must not exist.”
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