All my life a thought air was free

All my life a thought air was free…Until I bought a bag of chips.

People who have Mobile Contacts

People who have Mobile Contacts like ‘Mom 2’, ‘Dad 2? scare me:|

3 AM my cell is ringing

3 AM my cell is ringing…hey there you asleep?? No I’m Skydiving.

Brains are wonderful

Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one.

purchase a watch.

If you need more TIME go and purchase a watch.

I wasn’t that drunk.

Me : I wasn’t that drunk.
Friend : Dude, you were using the flashlight on your phone to find your phone

Just walk beside me and be my friend

Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend

Candy Crush

The only crush left in life, after getting married is
‘Candy Crush

We all have that one skinny

We all have that one skinny friend who eats more than fat person..

A wise man once told me

A wise man once told me, no matter how HOT she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her.

believe there should be a better

I believe there should be a better way to start each day…instead of waking up every morning…..

Shortest horror story

Shortest horror story in history: Tomorrow is Monday….

Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?

Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?
Johnny: Sun
Teacher: Why?
Johnny: We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.

Teacher said the students

Teacher said the students to convert the sentence “I killed a person” into future tense.
Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is “u will go to jail”!

Father help him with his Homework

One day teacher asked Sam that did his father help him with his homework.
Sam simply said that “No, he did it all by himself”!

Son to Father

Son: I am not able to go to school today.
Father: what happened?
Son: I am not feeling well
Father: Where you are not feeling well?
Son: In school!

Teacher announced that “students

Teacher announced that “students, we will have only half a day of school in this morning.
All the students said “Yeahh”
Then the teacher said “We will have the other half this afternoon”!

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What type of sign?
Student: The sign that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”!

I ant to ask you Something

Sam: Dear sir, I want to ask you something.
Teacher: yes Sam, ask me, what do you want?
Sam: Sir, do you punish anyone for something they did not do?
Teacher: No Sam. Why should I?
Sam: Thank you sir. That’s a relief. I haven’t done the homework.

Math Teacher

Math Teacher: Sara, what do you get when you subtract 897 from 1824 and add 176 and divide the answer by 3?
Sara: A Headache Madam.